Advice for girls who like girls

Despite this blog's name, we are not exclusively for lesbians. This is a place for anyone (LGBTQ or not) to come ask questions about anything going on in their lives. I'll offer the best advice I can give. Feel free to be anonymous or not! Personal questions or explicit questions are always okay as well. Please read the FAQs before you ask a question! Frequently Asked Questions

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Anonymous said: I'm not sure if my best friend who I like is straight because she always says that I make her happy and smile and stuff, then when we're together she always like sits on me or whatever, and she allowes me to flirt with her and sometimes I'm not sure if she flirts back! How do I make a further move so we end up making more physical contact to see how she reacts?

Maybe you could ask her if she’s ever thought about being with a girl. Or just flirt a little more. Hug her more often, touch her arm when you talk to her and see how she reacts.

Posted on June/27/2014 with 7 notes

Anonymous said: I am a lesbian, but my parents don't know yet. Just the other day, my mom comes up to me and says, "Are you a lesbian or something?" in this angry tone. I immediately got defensive, said no, and went to my room. My parents are homophobic, so that's why I didn't say yes. If they find out, they will probably kick me out. Please help!! I don't know what to do and I feel so depressed...

Find someone else you can talk to. You aren’t obligated to tell your parents at all unless you want to! Find someone in your community that you can trust and turn to when you need someone to talk to.

Posted on June/27/2014 with 5 notes

Anonymous said: hi, a friend of mine told me and some other people at a party that she was gay and we nodded and smiled and continued having fun. do you think i should talk to her about it or is "nodding and accepting" better? i mean, should i tell her that i support her etc or is the "it's alright it's cool youre gay it doesnt change anything lets have some more fun" way the better one?

I think it depends on the person! If she seems strange like she thinks maybe you didn’t approve I’d let her know that you’re fine with it, but I think it’s also okay to just nod or just say “okay”. It doesn’t have to be a big deal and hopefully she understood that everyone was just fine with it!

Posted on June/27/2014 with 2 notes

Anonymous said: Im 13 and i go to an all girls high school. I had a crush on this friend of mine for a year now and i know she isnt gay. Also nobody knows im gay. I dont want to ruin the friendship between us but i feel like if i keep hiding these feelings im going to explode. What do i do?

Is there someone else at your school you can talk to about how you feel? Maybe find a friend you really trust and talk to her about it. If not, try writing your feelings down. Sometimes just getting it out in the open somewhere makes it easier to live with. You could try talking to the girl you’re interested in, but if you know she isn’t gay and you’re afraid of coming out… it might not be the best idea. You have to do what feels right to you!

Posted on June/27/2014 with 2 notes

Anonymous said: I feel like a fraud, I feel like maybe the only reason I think I'm gay is because I was sexually abused by several men in my life. I'm disgusted by guys I find myself gagging when they're near me. Im 20 years old and have never been in a relationship

Being disgusted by men and being attracted to women are two different things. If you feel an attraction towards women, that is completely separate from anything that happened with men in the past. You’re definitely not a fraud! However, I really would recommend talking to someone about the sexual abuse you’ve experienced to help you work through it!

Posted on June/27/2014 with 5 notes

Anonymous said: So me and my gf haven't had phone sex in over a month and today we tried but I completely failed, it was embarrassing. Do you have any advice about phone sex? I don't want it to be awkward

I’m pretty terrible at phone sex, to be honest haha I definitely think it gets awkward easily. Seriously my strategy is usually to just make noise and say as little as possible which is probably a terrible strategy. Just do what makes you comfortable. Only say things you feel comfortable saying and if you don’t like it, don’t do it!

Anonymous said: I just recently came to the full realization that I am bi and I have no idea how to date girls (even though I want to). I ran into a girl from high school (who I knew was bi) and asked her to get a drink, but I'm not sure if she knew I was asking her because I'm interested or as a friend. We had a good time- I bought her a drink and she introduced me to her roommates and even texted me the next day to tell me she had fun. But I haven't heard from her much since, so I'm confused :/

Maybe she just wasn’t sure of your intentions or maybe she’s not very good at keeping in touch. Text her and ask her if she’d be interested in going out with you again sometime and tell her what a great time you had with her! I think you’re on the right track, maybe just need to be a little more direct. Sometimes people aren’t sure what you mean and that’s okay!

Posted on June/27/2014 with 2 notes

Anonymous said: Say you have a girlfriend youve been with for a year who is extremely kind, looks after you when you need it, is extremely affectionate, a cuddle monster who stares lovingly into your eyes, huddles up close to you when youre waiting at a train platform or bus stop, will happily make out for hours on end and is the best sex youve ever had in your life by far, everyone else a 1 to her 10, who you are in love with... but she says she doesnt love you and will never love anyone again. What do you do?

Hmm… how important is her saying the words ‘I love you’ to you? Is there a reason that she thinks she’ll never love anyone again? Maybe she’ll realize that’s not true if you stay with her and she learns to trust you. I can’t really say too much without knowing about her situation. I think that maybe the relationship is worth it without those words. Maybe she can show her version of love in a different way.

Posted on June/26/2014 with 3 notes

Anonymous said: i have a really complicated relationship with a girl. we were just friends for awhile, then we fell in love and dated, and now we've broken up bc she's not ready to accept her sexuality & be with a girl. she says that as soon as she is ready we'll get back together, but until then we're kind of friends with benefits. i really fucking love her & need her, so i can't let her go, but i don't understand why it's so easy for her to fuck me if she can't date me. it's killing me. what should i do?

Think about it from her perspective, maybe. Her situation might be different than yours. Coming out is different for everyone, even in terms of accepting your own sexuality. Maybe her family has told her that being gay is wrong and she’s still scared that admitting it will change everything. Decide if she’s really worth waiting for.

Posted on June/26/2014 with 1 note

Anonymous said: I really like my friend, and she's told me that she isn't interested in girls, but the way she acts tells me different. I catch her glancing at me from time to time whenever we're across from each other, and we do talk a lot. I subtly flirt with her and it seems like she flirts back, but I can't tell if it's her just being friendly and me just overthinking little things. I told myself that I should move on, but I've found myself doing otherwise... Can I have some advice on what to do here?

You have to go by what she says. If she says she’s not interested in girls you shouldn’t assume otherwise even if you’re sure you’re right. Maybe she just isn’t in a place where she feels safe talking about it… or maybe she’s just very flirty! You can keep flirting with her if you want to, but I wouldn’t push it any further or expect anything to come of it.

Posted on June/26/2014 with 1 note